Lessons Learned

Moments before getting on the bus to go home. I miss these people so much it hurts! 

GOD'S FAITHFULNESS:

        I have said over and over again in this blog how I have learned so much about God’s faithfulness and provision. As I sat on the 8 hour plane ride from Madrid to New York, I went through my journal of the semester and read all the entries. Nearly every one started with me praising God for specific ways He provided for me. To start, He orchestrated that Mackenzie and I live on the same street and have the EXACT same class schedule. For those of you who have never been to Sevilla, (which I am guessing is most of you), the fact that we lived on the same street doesn’t have the same meaning to you as people who were there. The odds that two people from two totally different study abroad programs and parts of the US would get placed not only in the same area of town, or the same neighborhood, but on the same STREET are ridiculously low. My whole time in Spain, I never met someone else who lived closer to me than Mackenzie. I don’t believe in coincidence. That one little detail changed every part of my time abroad. Anytime I would leave my house to walk anywhere, Mackenzie and I would walk together. It was a guaranteed 20-30minutes we would have several times a day to just talk and process through life together. Those walks changed our friendship and our time in Spain. God also provided a group of girls in my program that I loved and instantly connected with. It was so fun to be able to watch my friend Mary (from ISA) and Mackenzie become close and grow in their friendship as well. I always loved doing things with ISA because I knew I would have Mary, Denise, and Emily right there by my side. God also was faithful in allowing everything to work out for Mackenzie and I’s moms to come visit us! That weekend was so special and such a gift and will always be some of my favorite memories with my mom. Not only did it work out for our moms to come, but Heather got to come visit us for almost 3 weeks. This was such a long shot in the beginning, I didn’t think in a million years it would happen. But her parents were gracious (thanks Jack and Sheri Baby!!!) and our time together was more rich than it has ever been before. Even the little things like my class schedule working out the way it did (I only had class on Mondays and Wednesdays) was such a gift and blessing from the Lord. He was also faithful in the work he did in my heart, and how I got to see him visibly work in the hearts of some of my closest friends. I will talk more about this under “community”, but God provided a group of 5 girls all from different programs who wanted to actively seek Him during their time abroad and we were able to have a weekly Bible Study together. He provided for me with my host family, that I was able to have wifi and food that I actually enjoyed eating and a host mom who was so sweet and motherly. These are only a few examples of God’s provision and security he offered me while I was in Spain.

        RICHNESS IN COMMUNITY: 

I learned so much about the need for other believers to come along side you in your weaknesses and battle your sin with you. I already mentioned the 5 other girls that I was able to get together with once a week for time in the Word. This was such a rare gift to be able to find people who wanted to make their time in Spain purposeful, and we all had so many crazy connections that it was so fun to answer the question, “now, how do yall all know each other?” Through this time, I learned what it looks like to be apart of a community that has a mutual vision, shares the deep parts of their hearts, genuinely loves spending time together and reading God’s Word. It was a breath of fresh air every week that flowed out to the rest of my days, and I don’t know what I would have done without this time on Thursday mornings. The Christian life was not designed to live alone. This semester, I learned what it looked like to walk through my time in Spain with 5 other girls who were facing the same struggles I was. Had I not had this Bible Study of girls, I know that I still could have grown in my relationship with the Lord. But it would not have been of the same measure, and honestly, it would not have been as fun. I had so much fun with these girls, whether it was on our Thursday morning time or not. Fun had with a community that genuinely loves one another is always so rich and leaves me desiring more in all of my friendships in my life. 

      REFINING MY FAITH: 

So, I have been a Christian for a long time. I would say I have been authentically walking with God since my freshman year of college. I had definitely experienced growth and richness in my relationship with the Lord before this semester. But when I arrived in Spain, I knew it was going to be a time that God would “refine” my faith. Webster defines “refine” as: to remove impurities or unwanted elements from (a substance. To improve (something) by making small changes, in particular make (an idea, theory, or method) more subtle and accurate”.  The Bible uses “refine” in this context: "And I will put this third into the fire, and refine them as one refines silver, and test them as gold is tested. They will call upon my name, and I will answer them. I will say, 'They are my people'; and they will say, 'The LORD is my God." (Zechariah 13:9) It speaks again of removing the impurities from silver in Proverbs 25:4, "Take away the dross from silver,  and the silversmith can produce a vessel." To be honest, there were (and still are) several areas of my life that needed refining. I think there comes a point in every Christian’s walk with God that you have to make a choice to purify your life, and seek holiness and sanctification. By sanctification, I just mean the process of daily seeking to become more and more like Jesus. I love how this verse puts it and the imagery that is there. I wanted to dross and grime off of my life so that I could be pure silver or gold. This semester, I was refined in ways I didn’t even know I needed it. There were so many “unwanted elements” in my life that I finally felt like I could step up and get rid of. The result that came from purifying my language, the movies/shows I watch, the music I listen to, the things I think about, the way I view academic integrity, and the introduction of transparent confession into my life increased intimacy with Christ and with the people around me. I know being refined is a lifetime process that I have only just begun to understand and practice. 

        

        I know these last few posts were painfully long, and if you made it this far, you deserve some type of award. All of this is to say that God has blessed me with an incredible semester, beyond what I could have possibly imagined. Sevilla will always have a piece of my heart, and I know I will never forget what I learned in Spain. I am so excited for this summer in Fort Collins, Colorado with some of my best friends in the world and to continue to see how God will work there. Thanks for reading my blog and staying connected with me in spirit as I have been halfway around the world. I am so happy to be home and have missed you all so much!! Ta luegoooo

Words from the Wise (me)

Ok, so I don’t know if I am exactly “wise”, but if I could talk to someone who is thinking about studying abroad in Spain, this is what I would say: 

1. Live with a host family: but don’t expect to be buddy-buddy with them. That may or may not happen. Your family will probably not speak English and has probably been having students live with them for a long time, so you are nothing new. Try and sit in the living room with them instead of just going into your room and shutting the door. But get out of the house as much as possible. It is easy to get sucked into just staying on or skyping with people from home. Even if it is just for a midnight walk to the river, get out of the house as much as possible.

2. Don’t take academically challenging classes if you can help it. My work load was ridiculously light and that led to a stress free semester in the school department. A lot of my friends had papers, presentations, and projects all the time and were consumed by school work. You learn Spanish better outside the classroom, so don’t feel like you have to be in all the advanced classes. 

3. Get an Intercambio (language partner). Your program or university should provide you with the option to meet with a Spaniard who wants to learn English. They are such a help when trying to practice your Spanish. I only met with mine once, and that was a big regret. I wish I had invested more time into her.

4.The best place to meet Spaniards is at bars. You will probably not be meeting Spanish friends at your university or at coffee shops in the middle of the day. The best place to make Spanish friends is out at bars/lounges/discotecas when you are in smaller groups of Americans.

5. HAVE A PLAN (for your spiritual walk). Being a Christian who is studying abroad is NOT easy (if it IS easy, you need to examine how you are living). Most people view their time abroad as a “time out” from real life, thinking that they can do anything they want because they are in Europe and won’t have to be in touch with reality until later. This is an empty promise. I talked to so many people who said things like, “I don’t know why I did that. I never would have done that at home. I have never said yes before”. If you don’t have a plan for how you plan to not only “withstand temptation”, but how to actively GROW, it will not naturally happen. We are naturally inclined to grow closer to God. You have to put forth effort. Figure out how you are going to do that while you are there. Logistics you should figure out before you go: what will I be studying in the Bible? Who will be holding me accountable? Will I try and form a group of people that want to weekly get together to study the word? How much do I plan on drinking? How much do I plan on going out? How do I plan on acting around guys (or girls)? How much do I plan on talking to people from home? How much do I plan on sharing with people from home? Etc.

6. Seek out community: Christian community and non Christian community. You don’t want to live life alone in Spain. It is easier than you think to get sucked into just staying in your room or your house for far longer than you ever thought you would. You want to have experiences WITH people. You are going to meet people from all over the country (I have never met so many people from the north in my life!) who are so different from you. Different isn’t bad. I learned so much from my friends, whether they were walking with God or not. Above all, I think it is CRUCIAL to partner with other believers who want to pursue righteousness while you are there, but don’t be afraid to branch out and have friends that are polar opposite to you.

7. Don’t be surprised if you get homesick. I never thought I would, but the first two weeks were really hard for me. It’s like freshman year. You are meeting literally hundreds of people and trying to find your group and figure out what you want to be involved in or how you are going to live, and that can be overwhelming. It is one of those things where most people don’t like freshman year but they are too embarrassed to say anything out loud about it, even though a lot of people feel the same way. It’s ok if you get homesick. Expect it. It doesn’t mean you weren’t cut out for study abroad, or that your experience isn’t as good as other people’s. It’s ok to miss life at home.

8. Know at least one person before you go. I think especially as a believer, it is just wise to go with at least one person you know is walking with God and wants to do so while you are there. This doesn’t mean you have to go with your best friend. You can. Two of my best friends were studying in Italy together and loved it. But for me, I went knowing Mackenzie and a few other girls through random connections (even though I had never met them). Even if it is one of those “friend of a friend’s sister” kind of connections, make the effort to get together and establish connections with people you know right from the beginning. I think a lot of the danger of the “time-out” mentality (see #5) is that most people go not knowing a soul. And therefore, there is no one who knew them in the context of their life at home, so there is freedom to create a whole new persona without any previous expectations. So, find at least one person you semi-know who will be there.

9. Always remember that if you are a believer, people are watching you. If you are a Christian studying abroad, you are probably in the minority, and might even be the first Christian that some people have met. All eyes are on you. Figure out how you can love other people genuinely and with Christ’s love. Don’t view people as “projects” but as your friends, as people you care about and love and want to see know Christ. 1 Peter 3:15, “But in your hearts, honor Christ the Lord as holy, always being prepared to make a defense to anyone who asks you for a reason for the hope that is in you; yet do it with gentleness and respect.” 

Los ultimos días en Sevilla

I wish I could say I was writing this from the airplane ride home from Spain. But that would be a lie. I am on an airplane, however. But I am flying to a friend’s wedding in Kentucky. I have been home for 5 days and it has been a sweet reunion with the United States to say the least. These following few posts are not for the faint at heart…prepare yourself to hear my ramblings of what I learned in my time abroad and advice I would impart to those living overseas.

Quick updates of the last week in Spain:

The one and only LESLIE HALL came to Sevilla for two nights with some of her best friends from high school and it was so fun to be able to spend time with her in my favorite city. She is still traveling around Europe and having so many adventures, but it was such a treat to be able to hang out with all of our mutual friends we have here in Spain and catch up and laugh together.

Leslie and Lizzard are bestiez from Tampa. So fun to all be together! 

Moments before our sad goodbye with Lizzard (yes, two z's) 

We celebrated FERIA DE ABRIL: A huge festival in Sevilla celebrating spring and flamenco dancing. The Spaniards live for their festivals, and this is the largest one in Sevilla, so it is basically an excuse for a massive party that lasts all week. There are casetas (tents) set up that are privately owned by prestigious Spanish families that have to be reserved years in advance. These are not “tents” in any traditional sense of the word. They reminded me of the tent in Harry Potter (Goblet of Fire and Deathly Hallows, because it is the SAME tent if you will remember) that magically extended once you went inside of it. These tents had walls, hanging lights, paintings, flat screen tv’s, bars, dance floors, stages, and sometimes they even had live bands inside.  As you walk through the twinkle lights strewn streets with authentic flamenco dancing happening all around you, you feel like you are in some alternate universe. There is also a section that is similar to a theme park with lots of fun rides and carnival games…the works.

You could barely walk through the streets without being stopped by impromptu flamenco breakouts. 

One of the smaller casetas

Poor kids...they were probably out later than me. This photo was taken around midnight. 

A larger caseta..needless to say, we did not get invited in. 

It wouldn't be Feria de Abril without gofres con chocolate! (chocolate covered waffles)

Little B with Stewie. Captured mid spin. 

The last few days in Sevilla were a whirlwind of emotions, sad goodbyes, and last hoorah’s. The week started off with a seemingly catastrophic event: my hard drive finally kicked it and crashed completely. To someone who is obsessed with taking pictures (and who had promised thousands of pictures to people in my program), this is the worst thing that could happen at the end of my four months abroad. By the grace of God, Mackenzie had gotten about 80% of all my pictures on her computer too, so have no fear; I did not lose everything (besides endless hours of uploading, organizing, and editing).

Last Thursday was Mackenzie’s Birthday and we celebrated by doing a “Perfect day in Sevilla” which included some of our favorite activities or things we had always wanted to try. Our schedule for the day was as follows: wake up early for our last run by the Rio Guadalquivir, café con leche at the Yellow Roof Top Bar on the water, shop for ceramics, lunch at Mama Mia’s (a restaurant that is so close to our heart),  grab a quick Rayas gelato, paddle boats/photo shoot on the river, and drinks at the one and only Java Café. It was such a special day because it combined so many things we love about the city, with so many of the people who have touched our lives along the way. God was more than faithful this semester in providing rich friendships, and I don’t know what my semester would have looked like without the community I had. Mackenzie and I ended the night by doing something we had talked about all semester. You see, every day we walk over the Puente de Triana (the Triana bridge) which overlooks the Rio Guadalquivir. We feel a sense of ownership/loyalty to our barrio (neighborhood), and it is a place we have both grown to love. On this bridge you can find padlocks inscribed with initials or dates as a symbol of an unbreakable bond. (Most people who put locks on the bridge are couples, but we decided that it could symbolize a bond of friendship as well). We had talked all semester about putting a lock on the bridge, and that night, we did it! We wrote: "Faithful (Isaiah 43)” on one side, and “MR 13-5-11” on the other. God’s faithfulness has been the theme of our time here and MR is obviously for Mackenzie and Rachel with the (Spanish style) date of course.

There's Mary, Lindsay, and Betsy off in the distance on their paddle boat. 

So we did some trial runs on the cement ledge....

The trip home was a teary and arduous one. I spent over 36 hours traveling and the first thing I noticed when I arrived in the JFK airport in New York was how friendly and nice everyone was. I am so used to not smiling, being polite, or saying excuse me, so I was somewhat taken aback when the airport personnel looked me in the eyes and greeted me with a grin. When I arrived home, my family was there waiting with signs, flowers, and tears. (My favorite sign was my dad’s, which read, “WE R UR FANS”…he wanted people to think I was famous?) We headed home to a deliciously cooked homemade meal of enchiladas, salsa, guacamole, beans, and chips. My friends came over later and we all were treated to homemade blueberry cobbler with blue bell ice cream (and my mom made some extra cookies and lemon squares just in case). I don’t really remember much of that night, my internal clock was so confused and my body had begun to shut down. I took a hot shower (I think? I honestly feel like I blacked out part of the night) and had never been so thankful to snuggle up in my own bed. 

Happy Mothers Day!

Just thought I would take a moment and reflect on one of the most important people in my life. You guessed it.....my mom! Barbara Culwell is admired, loved, and respected by everyone who knows her. As I have gotten older, and matured past the "parents aren't cool" stage, she has become one of my best friends. I remember when girls would say that..."like, oh my gosh....my mom is like my BFF", I didn't believe them. But it really is true for me. My mom is always willing to listen to me day or night, gives my wise and biblical advice about difficult situations, laughs with me, cries with me, prays for me every day, serves me in so many ways, and is someone whom I can confide everything in. I look up to her in so many ways and hope that I will one day be like her when I am a mom. She has poured out her life into Lauren Claire and I. We are her utmost priority and she always is supportive of me and my ideas...no matter how out there they are. She will drop everything to talk to me and is so great about sharing with me what is going on in her life, what she is learning, what God is teaching her etc. She is a woman after God's own heart and has such a deep desire for me and my sister to have intimacy with Christ. She has such a hospitable heart and is so welcoming to guests in our home and loving to everyone she encounters. (And side note....she is the best cook I know and you better believe I miss her cooking to the core). She always makes me feel loved and taken care of and I couldn't ask for a better mom. This semester has been hard being away from my parents, but I have always known that I can skype my mom day or night and she will be ready to talk. That means alot. Especially when I am oceans away and feeling lonely or removed from everything that has always been so familiar to me. So mom, thank you from the bottom of my heart for everything you do for me. You have taught me what it means to lay down your life for others, and I can't wait to see you in 5 days and 13 hours and 12 minutes!!!  You are very missed on this day! 

Loved having you in Sevilla. It meant so much to me that you came and got to see my world here! 

Summer 2010. Greece Summer Project. It was such a unique experience going with you and Dad and I wouldn't change it for anything in the world. I loved getting to see you in your element. 

2009 Christmas Card. (Our BEST) 

1991 (I think?) Christmas Card

Our Adventures in Turkey...I mean PRAGUE

Well, my traveling days in Europe are officially over! Heather leaving seemed to mark the end of my time studying abroad. All that I have left is final exams and then I am outta here. But before I get too mushy, I will tell you about Prague. Which for those of you who have never been, looks like it is straight out of a fairy tale. Heather, Mackenzie, and I arrived on May 1st and started off our time with a good night's sleep in preparation for our big day....SKYDIVING!! That was an experience to say the least. In our skydiving group there were 3 girls and 3 (asian) boys....so as you can imagine we all got boyfriends on the way. But really, I absolutely LOVED it. There literally are no words to describe it. We jumped from 14,000 feet and had a free fall of about a minute and then drifted down with the parachute open for about 10 minutes.

Moments before we got on the plane

Authentic reaction post-jump

Don't really remember this picture....I was in a skydiving haze

AHHHHH!! 

We did it!! (Our best attempt to reenact the jump)

 Thoughts that were going through my head as I jumped: "It is so cold! My goggles are fogging up! I am falling...I am really falling! It is SO cold! I can't feel my face! How am I STILL falling? Has he opened the chute yet?? I don't think I have ever been this cold...." I have to say, I think bungee jumping was scarier. There is something about standing on the edge of a bridge with nothing attached to you but a rope and having to Pocahontas leap out all on your own will. With tandem skydiving, the instructor does all the work. I literally just arched my back, lifted my feet up, he jumped out, and I was just along for the ride. I would definitely do it again though, it was such a rush and such a memory. 

Besides that, we did all the Prague must do's and see's: 

Prague Castle

Old Town Square just in time for the Easter Markets! 

That's right....filled with nutella. 

Hand painted Easter eggs

Love Locks Gate

John Lennon Wall

We met up with Betsy and Lindsay and did a hike to Petrin Hill

The Eiffel Tower's "little brother" built in the same year

Street Vendors on St. Charles Bridge

St. Charles Bridge

Prague was such a magical little town and I really enjoyed my time there. When I say "little", I really mean it is tiny....We were there four days and five nights and I feel like you could have definitely done everything in two days tops. (Including going to Bohemian Bagel 3 different times...oh how I miss American food) But we of course enjoyed every minute we had together. It is so rare to have friends like Heather and Mackenzie. I appreciate both of them so much and love being able to laugh to the point of tears, share our hearts, explore new parts of the world together, and understand what it means to work through things and love one another genuinely. How differently my life would look without these two in it. 

Now, we enter the week of waiting. I leave this Friday at 8pm on a night bus for Madrid and then my flight leaves from there early Saturday morning. I know this is going to be a crazy time of final exams (ew), packing, getting last minute gifts for people, going to restaurants that I have been wanting to try all semester,  and saying goodbye to people that I can't believe I met just four months ago. Hopefully I will be able to have some good time to process the fact that I am leaving Spain amidst the whirlwind of tying up every loose end. I can't believe that the last four months are finally coming to an end. (sad and reflective blog post to come) 

Danka!

LOOK WHO IS FINALLY HERE!!!!! 

That's right folks, Heather McGill made it safe and sound and has been conquering Europe for the last week and a half. Mackenzie, Lindsay, and I all met up with Heather in Berlin, Germany last Tuesday. We spent the week exploring the city and some smaller towns around the area, eating bratwurst and potatoes, and tasting all kinds of different beers. For some reason, I had really no expectations going into our Germany trip. Germany has always been somewhere I have wanted to see, but we ended up picking Berlin because we had a free apartment to stay in for the week. But now, it has become one of my favorite cities. The weather could not have been more perfect for our sweet reunion with Heather and we all felt like we packed as much in as possible while still taking advantage of the fact that we had an apartment to come home to. (Side note: I never realized how much I would miss having my own house until I lived in Spain. The awesome freedom that comes with having an apartment is something I will never take for granted again). 

One of my favorite things we did while in Berlin was go on a free walking tour through "New Europe Tours"....when in doubt, CHOOSE THEM! It was incredible to see the different famous landmarks in Berlin; the city is so rich with history. We got to see the place where Hitler died, Checkpoint Charlie, The Brandenburg Gate, The Reichstag, Museum Island, The Berlin Wall, Sachsenhausen (a Concentration camp just outside Berlin city limits), and so many Holocaust memorials. At the risk of sounding cliche, I'm just going to say that it was so cool to go to places that I have read about for so many years and see history come alive. You can totally still feel the difference between East and West Berlin from when the Berlin wall was built. Different parts of town have been architecturally influenced by communism or socialism, so every area really had a different vibe. We decided to cook one night at our apartment and made a yummy meal of pasta, parmesan cheese with bread and crackers, and a various assortment of beer. Having the apartment was really such a blessing and it was so fun to be able to cook and all eat together and just hang out and watch a movie. (Remember the Titans....duh). We had such good intentions of running a half marathon the next morning that we have been semi training for all semester, but at 6 in the morning, everything sounds like a bad idea, and it ended up being too complicated to find the city that was hosting the race (think 5 hour train/bus ride with several stops with zero transfer time.) With our luck, we decided it was probably going to end up being a wild goose chase. 

We took two days trips while we were there. One to Potsdam, a quaint little town with red brick buildings and a castle overlooking the city. And the other to Oranieburg to see the concentration camp memorial of Sachsenhausen. As soon as we arrived in Oranieburg, there was an instant change in mood. The whole town seemed to have an almost eery vibe. (I think this also had to do with the fact that it was good Friday and literally everything was closed.) The camp still has some of the original structures and the rest has been renovated and recreated to look just as it did during WWII. We got an audio tour and somberly made our way through the different barracks, crematoriums, burial grounds, SS training grounds, the site of the gallows, and the execution trenches. Throughout our time in Berlin, we obviously talked and heard alot about Hitler and WWII and everything that happened in the Holocaust. But this was so different. It was deeply disturbing to be standing in the same place where thousands of people were killed. (Over 200,000 people were passed through this camp and over 30,000 died inside its walls). We had many conversations about how Christianity fits into the Holocaust and how the ideas of Hitler could catch on like they did. I still have been thinking alot about everything I saw there and want to continue to look into what the Christian movement was like at the time. 

On Sunday, we went to an English speaking church that Mackenzie's friends work with. We sang "Up from the Grave He Arose" and it made me miss my Dad so much, as that is his favorite Easter song....or really anytime song....he loves it and I had been singing it all morning. It was a very unique way to celebrate Easter...to be in Berlin in a small church plant with people from all over the world. I have to say, I missed home alot on that day. We made our way back to Sevilla on Monday and have been showing Heather around for the last few days. We even made it to a bull fight....which is something that I feel everyone should do while in Spain, but I can't say I would do it again. It was definitely an unfair fight for the bull, poor guy doesn't stand a chance. But I really do see now why they call it a "dance" and an art form. Those torreros (matadors) are so talented! And they are my age! Tonight, Heather, Mackenzie, and I leave for Madrid on the 12:15am bus and will spend one night there and then it is off to Prague (where we are SKYDIVING!!) 

The time with Heather has been so special and sweet and I love being able to share Spain with her and continue to grow in our friendship. We have been literally all over the world together, and what an undeserved blessing that she was able to come and visit Mackenzie and I in one of our favorite cities in the world. Prague, HERE WE COME!! 

Heather, Mackenzie, Me, and Lindsay in front of the Brandenburg Gate on our first night in Berlin

Part of the Holocaust Memorial by the Brandenburg Gate

Simon (our awesome tour guide) looking pensive in front of the Berlin Wall. 

Berlin Wall

"New Museum" 

Holocaust Memorial

Palace in Potsdam

Yes, that is the famous TV tower made out of chocolate. 

The original entry gates of Sachsenhausen. 

Part of the extensive security system of the camp

Execution Trench

The original guard towers.